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Wow, what a day!! Talk about dreams come true.

My girlfriend (more lady than girl) called to tell me that her cousin, Sonny, landed a job in Delaware, which means his mom has a vacant two-bedroom basement apartment to rent. Since Sonny wasn’t paying any rent, she’s willing to rent it to me at a family discount. Of course, I have to do the groundskeeping and gardening. She is just delighted to have a non-smoking, non-drinking Christian for a tenant.

Just think: I have a new place to live, a garden to tend, a room for my daughter (which increases my parental custody rights) and rent receipts to increase my Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP) benefits! Plus, there are brownie points for my lady for making Auntie happy!

I’m going to call Public Storage and have a move out scheduled, so I’ll have $300 more to work with. Wow! I have a place!! No more dragging junk. No more hunting for bathrooms. No more “You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here!” No more having to buy only what I can eat now because there’s no place to store leftovers. I’ll be breaking out my music, pressing my stored wrinkled clothes, shining up my shoes and prepping a housewarming blast! Then, sleep for days! At last, the nightmare is over!

April fools!