What a Tangled Web We Weave
Everybody has a story to tell when it comes to the way they think concerning a situation or circumstance when they were faced with resolving something that involves outside forces.
As a young adolescent in junior high school, I was ostracized by some of my peers (mainly girls). They would always razz me about my big, huge lips and teeth. They did it so many times that I began to keep a low profile so I would not be readily noticed. Fortunately, I didn’t have a problem with those parts of my body God gave me to utilize while in this life. But, for whatever reason I allowed these folks to define who I was based on how I looked. This infuriated me. I became angry with myself. I would go along to get along, to the point I became inured to the insults and assaults concerning my features and character. I took the “fit-in-where-I-could-get-in” approach, just to be part of the “in” crowd and not be left out. In the recesses of my mind, though, I was becoming disoriented about my true self. This became somewhat of a detriment to me and my character at a very early age.
So, psychologically I was very tied up, trying to be a people-pleaser.
For a long time, in my mind’s eye, I’ve believed if someone were to love you, (s)he would not hurt you. However, that has not been the case in my experience. Even when I was not treated so well, I still would discount my feelings and make that person’s feelings more important than my own. In my quiet time, I still would find ways to justify that person’s BS, even though I knew they were wrong and I wasn’t.
Emotionally, I was tangled up, not knowing in what direction to go.
Now, just to be frank (who I’m not), I’ve had bouts with trying to meet the status quo. Always trying to be and live up to the Joneses, I have often found myself all out of sorts, baffled and confused while trying to be someone else. To mine own self, I could not be true. I was living a lie and starting to believe it. The plot thickens… Conclusively, the end result to being a git-wit, nit-wit is demeaning, and one will be brought down real low. For I’ve heard it said, pride goes before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall.
Socially, I am caught up.
Everybody has a story to tell about how they think concerning their situations, their circumstances, and their experiences. Oh, what a tangled web I wove.