The Big Fat Rat, Episode 1

INT – WASHINGTON, DC – UNION STATION – Day

The big fat rat and his crew lived in the sewer deep down under Union Station. Dean ran a big operation, some people say it was the largest in the nation. Dean sat on a comb that he made into a throne, sharpening his teeth on a brick, getting ready for his next big feast. 

EXT – UNION STATION – DAY – UNDERGROUND

Dean and his crew are sitting around a table made out of a hubcap, on chairs made of matchboxes, discussing a heist they are planning on the mice. 

DEAN: Boys, there is a big meal up on Capitol Hill.

RAGS (Dean’s second-in-command): But boss, Bill lives on Capitol Hill and he’s one big mean tomcat! Remember what he did to that mouse at the White House.

DEAN (hitting his fists against the table and shouting): Bill! Bill! Bill!  I want Bill knocked off!

EPIDEMIC: (Dean’s enforcer): Boss, why don’t we have the Anacostia crew knock him off?

DEAN: No! That crew moves too much cheese through the city for their operation to be interrupted.

EXT – CAPITOL HILL – DAY

Bill sat in a tree waiting for his next meal. Larry, a mouse popped his head out of his hole, looking for Bill and starts running across the lawn.  Bill grabs Larry. 

LARRY: Wait!  Wait, Bill.  I have something to say. Dean and his crew are planning a hit on you!

Bill drops Larry 

BILL: What is your name mouse?

LARRY: Larry

BILL: Where did you hear this from?

LARRY: From Pee Wee the Flea.

BILL: Isn’t Pee Wee working for Dean?

LARRY: Not since Dean’s crew hosed him with pee.

LARRY (his legs shaking): Does this make you and I friends?

BILL: For now, mouse.

Larry takes off back to his hole, running across the lawn like a rocket. Mick the tick pops up next to Larry. 

MICK: Slow down Larry.  Bill’s gone.  I saw the whole thing.  You are lucky Bill didn’t eat you.

LARRY (knees shaking): I know Mick.  It’s my nerves.  I can’t stop shaking.  Why are you here on the hill?

MICK:It’s Epidemic. I’ve been working at Metro Station and he wants to take over my operation. He’s crazy.  Epidemic has killed 30 of my best ticks.  That’s over half of my crew and the rest are hiding.

LARRY: Have you seen Pee Wee?

MICK: Pee Wee is also hiding from Epidemic.  He’s a maniac killer. Pee Wee is planning on going to the Feds.

EXT – UNION STATION – NIGHT – UNDERGROUND

Dean went to the bathroom.

RAGS: Whack Bill with a bat.

EPIDEMIC: Why not that piece we found in the sewer?

RAGS: No, the sound of the shot will bring the feds in on us.

EPIDEMIC: How about that HIV-infected needle we stole from the bathroom at the bus station?

RAGS: No. It will take too long for Bill to die that way.

Dean returns to the room

DEAN: Boys, I’ve got gas indigestion from eating all that good rotting fish last night that the crew from the Waterfront sent over.

EXT – CAPITOL HILL  NIGHT

Bill on a bench on the lawn in front of the House of Representatives.

Bill looks over to a large oak tree trying to see Willie the Squirrel.

BILL: Willie! Hey Willie. You up there?

WILLIE: Keep it down Bill. The wife is ill. What is it?

BILL: Willie. I need your help.

WILLIE: O.K. Bill. Anything for you.

BILL: I need you and your crew to be lookouts for me. Dean’s crew is trying to kill me.

WILLIE (his eye getting large): Oh no! Wait a minute Bill. We could all be killed.

BILL: Remember when I saved your wife from Dean?

WILLIE: Okay. Okay Bill. I will help you.

Willie the Squirrel goes back up the tree.

EXT – CAPITOL HILL – A BRIGHT MOONLIT NIGHT

The rats arrive carrying knives, chairs, chainsaws and a bat.

The squirrels signal Bill.

EPIDEMIC: I smell a rat. It’s a set-up- boys.

Bill jumps the rats, biting them, snapping off arms and legs and tossing them everywhere.

Bill has Epidemic in his teeth.

RAGS: Boss! Boss! Bill has Epidemic in his teeth. Bill’s coming our way!

EXT – UNION STATION – NIGHT

Dean turns the table over and kicks the chairs.

DEAN: I want Bill dead.

Bill, standing over the sewer, opens his mouth and drops Epidemic down the sewer.

Epidemic lands in front of Dean, feet bleeding and too weak to speak.

Dean looks down at Epidemic.

RAGS: Boss, we’ve got nothing to eat!

DEAN (smiling): Wrong. We’ve got rat meat to eat!

They begin to laugh and start eating Epidemic.

The End


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