Illustration by artist and vendor Charles Armstrong

They want to sleep out in the rain.  

I don’t have to be out in the rain.  

 

However, it’s good to have an umbrella  

with a handle shaped like a candy cane.  

 

What a better grip having an umbrella like this,  

if you must live out in the rain.  

 

I’m thankful to my God  

I don’t have to live outside when it rains. 

 

And yes, I have an umbrella with a handle shaped like a candy cane,  

But I, only I, really know my best grip.