Of course everyone knows the meaning of despair; however its raw truth can only be understood if one considers a few synonyms – hopelessness, dejection, anguish and the big one, misery. Most people whose condition is that of homelessness have at one time or other excelled in a life that is considered “normal” based on societal stereotypes. Drug usage and alcoholism are not the main reasons for homelessness. It is usually because of economic reasons such as the cost of an unexpected addition to a family or the escalating price of rent that one ends up in such a lifestyle.
My first reaction on entering a shelter was that of shock, gloom and an observance of chaos. The intake person was 60 seconds from a physical fight with a resident who entered the floor area and rfused to empty her pockets. The first night was filled with loud chatter that went on way past midnight (even though “lights out” was at 11pm).
Tears never failed. And I kept asking myself, how could I get out of a situation that, as time when by, became one of extreme misery? I had no job and just a small monthly government entitlement. In no foreseeable way could I afford even an efficiency or room.
Oh yeah, there were the undesirable hygienic and safety conditions that came with sharing a small space with strangers. I was always watching my back to make sure my personal valuables would not disappear, and I would regularly keep one eye open for attacks by unwelcome guests – roaches and rodents. All of this was quite exhausting.
To prevent drowning in misery, I had to develop an emotional support system that provided me with valuable information concerning resources that are necessary in the journey out of homelessness. One beneficial truth I experienced was how life is full of peaks and valleys.
Without a doubt, the desire for most homeless people is to be of “mainstream society,” with a well-paying job and a home. I also hope that one day, humankind will see us eye to eye, and not with eyes looking down on us. And that we fit in, not under, this mainstream world.
But there is hope for getting out of these valleys. It may not happen exactly when or how we want it to, but it can happen. There are sources out there who are willing to help us get on our way to where we need to be. There are still times when I feel “between a rock and a hard place,” but I don’t give up.
Don’t let the valley cause the peak to be unattainable. Together we can win at our individual paths, mounting the peaks.
