I really miss Bernice and all my grandkids, but I understand that she and the others have to feel safe in her house. I need to give them space and not put my two cents worth into the situation. If I trust God, as I have said I do, whatever is His will shall be done. If she’s meant to be in my life, she will be.
I look at the part I played, and really, it was me acting out. I was mentally abusive. I realize I can’t change the past but I can look forward to the future being better. My therapist tells me to understand that they cannot be in my life if I drink or do drugs. I accept I cannot drink or do drugs if I want my grandkids to be in my life.
I graduate from school in April. Bernice and my grandchildren will be there to see me. It would be very uncomfortable for me without them. If I had one wish, it would be to be completely free of the influence of drugs and alcohol, but I will continue to work on acceptance even if they don’t come.
