Me and My Recovery, Part 3: My Meet with the Devil
Back then I was doing drugs really hard, to the point where I was always high. One side effect was always thinking someone was going to hurt my mom when I left her home alone at night. I was feeling that on this particular day. It was my birthday and I was blitzed.
I left out the house in my pajamas and while I was walking I said to myself, out loud, “If anyone hurts or harms my mom, I’m going to kill them. I’ll sell my soul to the devil.” Then, all of a sudden, a black Saab pulled with a fairly handsome man inside. “Hello. What are you up to?” he said.
I jumped inside his nice ride. “Nothing,” I said. “It’s my birthday!”
He smiled. “Happy birthday. What can I pleasure you with?” I told him that I got high and he put a hundred dollar bill in my hand and asked, “Now, where can we get something?”
I kinda got scared, but I went anyway. We went and got a room at a local hotel and we jived and chilled. I talked and he listened, while staring into my eyes like I was a prize or something. So again, I began to get frightened.
Now I’m thinking of a way to get out of this mess. But being the drug addict I was, I’m thinking of a plan to find out whether he was the devil. So I let him do most of the smoking and chilling while all the time our stuff is running out. I volunteer to make the run to get some more. Then it hit me: I have a friend who loves to talk about the Bible. So my plan became to go and find her and take her back with me. I did that.
I never told her what I was thinking about this gentleman; I just led her right to him. While they started back smoking, I’m trying to come up with a plan to bring God into the room. I pulled out the Bible and my girl began to go for it. He got fed up and put us out of the room. We each had about $200, for which we hadn’t done anything but keep him company. We finally left and went to the mall. We never talked seriously about what I just went through: the fear I felt in my heart; his evil smile and the way he looked at me like I was something he really wanted.
I went on with life and kept on being Vennie, untiil about three months later when I said the same stupid words out my mouth. You wouldn’ t believe this, but the same guy in the same car pulled up right after that, and my dumbass got in it. “Do you remember me?” he goes. Like hell, I did. Anyway, he gave $200 again to go get us something and let me drive to get it. I felt like the devil knows I like to drive. So before I left he asked me, did I have somewhere that I could take us to chill and I said yes. I knew a buddy who was working on a new house and got high. He would rent the place out for a couple of hours. So there we were in this empty house, just me and him. My mind was going 90 miles an hour; my heart was beating even faster. He finally looked at me and said “What you are thinking is true.” I was thinking he was the devil but all I said was “What?” He said it again, this time a little louder and more forcefully. I jumped up and left the clothes he had bought me and the damn money and got the hell out of there.
I never thought about saying, “I will sell my soul to him.” Now I know better. How about you?