A speech bubble with "ha-ha" inside
Photo Courtesy of Public domain vectors.

This letter was featured in the April 29 digital-only edition of Street Sense. Until it is safe to resume person-to-person sales, you’ll always be able to find the current digital-only edition at streetsensemedia.org/Digital Thank you for reading! Please continue to support our vendors through our mobile app (streetsensemedia.org/App).

Dearest reader,

These are horrible trying days for all of us. However, because we are still here, life must continue. My faith teaches me this scripture: “The peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds.” (Philippians 4:7) Therefore, I want to share a little laughter to your (our) souls.

“Where is Mr. Whipple and Charmaine now.” Not to squeeze. I need it to wipe, duh!!!
If it’s a stay-at-home order, what should the Son of Man do? The holy scriptures tell us the Son of Man has no place to lay his head. He’s homeless, duh!!! Now what?
My friend made me face masks to wear, one donut print and one juice bottle print. Hell, should I wear them or eat them? The grocery store has neither!
Jesus performed the miracle of turning water into wine. Well, guess what — this happened to me! I used so so much alcohol-based hand sanitizer that when I went to wash them, a miracle was rendered. The faucet water turned into Mad Dog 2020. I did it a second time and, again, a miracle: the faucet water turned into chardonnay! I’m very happy now!!!

I’m going to tell the truth now: I hate food, I hate sleep, I hate COVID-19.

Stay well. We’ll get through this.