I follow myself on Twitter,
to find out what shall I wear
Sometimes it gets so confusing,
I just look in the mirror and stare
I arrived at work just in time,
to find out I left my shoes behind
My Twitter feed said I was only wearing socks
so you could imagine all my co-workers’ shock.
I follow myself on Twitter,
to find out what I’m having for dinner
It always zaps my appetite,
no wonder I’m getting thinner!
I sure would like to have had that filet mignon,
But it’s hard to eat while texting on the phone
That’s how my dog jumped on the table,
and ate it all, now all I have left is a bone.
I follow myself on Twitter,
just to find out where I am
Sometimes I’m not where I’m supposed to be,
so I just don’t give a damn!
I ended up on the X-2 bus,
when I should’ve been on the Blue Line
If I could just close my Twitter account,
I think I’d be just fine!